Don't worry, ladies — your bodies are no longer apples or pears. After a stunning survey revealed that women don't like being compared to food, the Australian lingerie brand Triumph thought up a brand new way for women to classify their bodies: by master painters. A Da Vinci, for example, is a "straight up-and-down shape" (traditionally known as "skinny"), while a Rembrandt would be a woman with a "full bust and bottom."
Watch the video below to find out which dead white man you are.
So which do prefer, fruits or Western artists? Or did John Mayer have it right all along?