Twentysomethings are pretending to text just to avoid you

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A recent study from the Pew Internet & American Life Project about cell-phone use in adults ages eighteen to twenty found mostly unsurprising results: for instance, did you know that young people use their phones as entertainment devices? And that they sometimes need to turn off their phones in order to separate from the electronic hive mind? It's true! But if you really want proof that our technology is turning us into mental hermits with no connection to the rest of humanity, this is the result for you:

And most surprisingly of all, 30% of adults 18-29 have pretended to be on the phone in order to avoid human interaction, the report says.

How is this surprising? Doesn't everyone do this all the time in awkward social situations? (Read: most of them.) As someone who loathes and fears other people in great measure, I assure you that this move is one of the classics. (It is so much easier than bleeding from your eyes.) So remember: the next time it seems like that person you're approaching at a party is faking a phone conversation or tapping out a text the length of Anna Karenina, it's only because my peers and I are socially maladjusted.