66-year-old Helen Mirren wins L.A. Fitness “Body of the Year” poll

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In a stunning upset, sixty-six-year-old Dame Helen Mirren has edged out the bootylicious likes of Jennifer Lopez and Pippa Middleton (who won a consolatory "Rear of the Year" prize) to top health-club chain L.A. Fitness' "Body of the Year" poll. You're either thinking Taylor Hackford is a lucky man, or whaaaaaat?

The 2000 male and female poll participants were possibly influenced by a 2008 set of photos showing Mirren frolicking on an Italian beach in a red bikini, and possibly influenced by a desire to vote for what they perceive as a more attainable body. Chalk one up for the AARP crowd, as all that Wii Fit time put in by the Oscar winner has paid off beautifully.

This also sets a helpful precedent, I believe, for young body-dysmorphia sufferers driven to despair by media representations implicitly praising pipe-cleaner torsos. As long as Betty White doesn't win next year, I'm good with it. Following are the results:

Helen Mirren – 17.65%

Elle MacPherson – 10.6%

Kelly Brook – 8.35%

Jennifer Lopez – 6.6%

Cheryl Cole – 5.35%

Myleene Klass – 4.2%

Holly Willoughby – 4.1%

Pippa Middleton – 4%

Kate Winslet – 3.9%