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92-year-old woman shoots up house of neighbor who wouldn’t kiss her

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Come on, Florida! Do you really want to be known as the state where an elderly woman shot up her neighbor’s house with a semi-automatic pistol just because he wouldn’t kiss her? You’ve been a jokey state for a while now, yes, but there’s no need to take things this far.

Helen Staudinger of Florida.

The details make things even stranger: Dwight Bettner, the fifty-two-year-old youngster living next door to Helen Staudinger, ninety-two, had a habit of taking his neighbor’s trash out for her, “just neighborly stuff.” In other words: move along, nothing weird to see here.

That is, until the day this happened:

"I want a kiss before I leave,” Bettner said Staudinger told him.

No, he said.

"Just go back to your property, and leave me alone," Bettner recalled saying.

Bettner was on the phone with his father when he heard gunshots moments later. One bullet went through a window, spraying him with glass.

Intense stuff. "If my head would have been over just a little bit further,” he told reporters, “[the bullet] probably would have hit me in the back of the head.” The woman is being charged with aggravated assault with a deadly weapon, shooting into a dwelling, and being a model Floridian.