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Dutch pastor creates online Christian sex shop, no punchline needed

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Who says religion can't be sex-positive? I mean, think about it. For a large swath of the population, sex is the only time to say "God" or "Jesus" without adding a few choice epithets.

Well, a Dutch pastor named Marc Angenent has decided to help make those cries a little louder. He's opened up an online Christian sex shop to help combat what he calls "lust phobia" among Christians.

Because he's Dutch, Angenent is naturally more awesome and relaxed than other pastors. He works as a sex therapist on the side, and recently opened a sermon by asking "Dear God, what's your take on eroticism?" God's take, Angenent says, is that he doesn't really care. Which kind of makes me think of God as an old Jewish lady shrugging and waving her hand at me saying "Eh, I have bigger problems. What should matter is you taking a minute to visit me sometimes!"

So Angenet opened up his online Christian sex shop, but not without a few ground rules. An article in Der Spiegel explains:

"Before he set up his business, Angenent sat on his sofa with his laptop on his knee and clicked from one erotic shop to another to find out what kind of products he should include in his inventory. Latex? Leather? Whips? Lubricant?

No to whips, yes to lubricant."

Why are whips off limits? I'm guessing it has something to do with bringing up unsavory, scourging-related memories.

"His decision not to stock whips and fetish articles is not meant to be prescriptive. He just didn't want to shock the Christian community. That's also why he doesn't show naked men and women or pornographic images on his website."

Fair enough. Plus, those are just his rules for what he keeps in stock. Any requests, he'll send you, no questions asked. And in just three to five business days, you too could be praising Jesus.