Because ordinary vibrators clearly just aren't cutting it anymore, SexToy.com has deployed a team of their best minds to prepare to send a vibrator 100,000 feet up in the air. The vibrator in question is the Vibrating Bullet, and it's sure to revolutionize the class of products you choose to pleasure yourself with. David "SexToy Dave" Levine, the CEO of CNV.com, said in a company release that:

"I have always been into firsts and that is how I made my money. I was one of the first on the web selling sex toys, first to have an adult affiliate program, the first to make three appearances on Bravo's hit show Millionaire Matchmaker and now the first online adult business with a space program."

And naturally, someone with that kind of chutzpah would expect only the best from his sex-toy developers/minions. According to the same release, published on the SexToy.com blog Chew On This:

"The toy will have to withstand temperatures of -75 degrees Fahrenheit and conditions 10 times over normal cosmic radiation. The vibrator will be fully exposed to the elements, reach an altitude of 100,000 feet (~20 miles) above the Earth’s atmosphere, which is three times the cruising altitude of a typical jet plane. The team hopes to retrieve the vibrator in fully functioning order."

What's more, the Vibrating Bullet will be accompanied by tracking devices, cameras, and a solar-powered helium balloon throughout its voyage. But, why, SexToy Dave? I'm sure if given the choice, women would choose the space-vibrator over the regular vibrator, but still. The atmospheric conditions of the average vagina just aren't typically as harsh as those in space, at least not in my experience. Far be it for me to question the motives of SexToy Dave, but I feel as though he's more concerned with publicity than the scientific integrity of sex toys. For shame, SexToy Dave, for shame.

Tags Sex Toys

Commentarium (16 Comments)

Sep 30 11 - 3:04pm
Moops

Get ready for out-of-this-world orgasms!

Sep 30 11 - 4:14pm
julian.

god dammit moops

Sep 30 11 - 8:42pm
Guy

Fuckin' moops

Sep 30 11 - 4:04pm
anon

In space, no one can hear you cream.

Oct 01 11 - 10:21am
Phil E. Drifter

WINNING

Sep 30 11 - 4:14pm
julian.

God bless america.

Oct 03 11 - 9:47am
Clarence

Right, Julian - you won't see Iran's rocket program accomplish such a feat.

Sep 30 11 - 5:20pm
jfk

And before the end of this decade, we will send a vibrator into space and return it safely...not because it's easy but because it's hard (otherwise, it would be no good at all).

Sep 30 11 - 5:42pm
Lawrence

Stupid, if my digital camera can make it to 100,000 feet, I don't see why anyone cares if a vibrator can. Only difference is that they have to keep the vibrator warm as well as the camera if they want it to keep running at those temperatures.

Sep 30 11 - 6:35pm
jill

"The atmospheric conditions of the average vagina just aren't typically as harsh as those in space, at least not in my experience" (!)
thanks for making my day,
jill

Sep 30 11 - 7:15pm
New Yorker Tim

A) first in space? Women have been blowing guys to the moon for ages.
B)
C) Good luck

Sep 30 11 - 7:17pm
New Yorker Tim

Sorry, finger slip.

B) Lets hope its not dangerous to Martians (just in case).

Sep 30 11 - 8:14pm
Matt

To boldly go where no man has gone before!

Sep 30 11 - 9:10pm
Laurel Frost

There is a 'probe' joke here...

Oct 01 11 - 8:02pm
Rae

if extraterrestrials intercept anything from us, i hope it's this.

Nov 20 11 - 11:15pm
Rosie

For the love of God, keep wirntig these articles.