Amazing woman mocks American Apparel’s “plus-size model search”

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Nancy Upton eating fried chicken

A little while ago, American Apparel had a thought: “Hey, maybe we shouldn’t offend the majority of American women if we want to get ourselves away from the brink of financial ruin?" To that end, they had the brilliant idea to start selling a couple items in a size XL (okay, ten), and started a contest to find someone “big,” “curvaceous,” “XLent,” and “booty-ful” to model them.

It could have been a teeny-tiny bit progressive for American Apparel to start selling clothing sized for the average female, if they hadn’t made such a big deal out of it. I mean, the fatty-adjective-happy contest details sound like some sort of parody:

Think you are the Next BIG Thing?

Calling curvy ladies everywhere! Our best-selling Disco Pant (and around ten other sexy styles) are now available in size XL, for those of us who need a little extra wiggle room where it counts. We're looking for fresh faces (and curvaceous bods) to fill these babies out. If you think you've got what it takes to be the next XLent model, send us photos of you and your junk to back it up.

Just send us two recent photographs of yourself, one that clearly shows your face and one of your body. We'll select a winner to be flown out to our Los Angeles headquarters to star in your own bootylicious photoshoot. Runners up will win an enviable assortment of our favorite new styles in XL!

Show us what you're workin' with!

In a fit of pique, a woman named Nancy Upton decided to have a little bit of fun with the contest. Under the brilliant Tumblr name, “Extra Wiggle Room,” Upton posted the pictures she sent in to the contest — some of which include her reposing in a ranch-dressing bath, sitting on her kitchen floor in her panties guzzling chocolate syrup with two tubs of ice cream at her side, and wading in a pool taking a bite out of a fried chicken drumstick. The best part? According to the results of the voting on the American Apparel website (which ended yesterday), she may well be the winner. 

She wrote that she didn’t expect or want to win the contest, and won’t model for the company if she does win, naturally. It’s too bad though. I’d much prefer to carry around a magazine with a back-cover ad of a gorgeous woman eating pie than of a pre-pubescent-looking model with camel toe.