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Breaking news: study shows 100 year old men still like sex

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Burt Reynolds

Listen, I'm sorry to be the one to have to tell you this, but let's get something straight: just because most of us don't like to think about old people having sex doesn't mean that they don't do it. Thanks to yet another miracle of science, we now have categorical proof that even after an entire century of getting some, one in five men over 100 "still consider sex important." Predictably, one of the researchers on the Australian medical study behind this creepy new fun fact added the caveat that there are "common medical problems [that are] barriers to older people remaining sexually active," and more than forty percent of sexually active elderly men wished they could have more sex than their aging bodies would allow. Even so, men in their twilight years who are still capable of doing it have "lots of partners to choose from" since women so routinely outlive men, and people in this age group routinely report higher levels of sexual satisfaction than in their younger years.

So, there's that. Let us never speak of this study again.