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City residents peeved at lack of advance notice of local S&M convention

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Apparently not everyone's a fan of pun-laden, sex conventions. Residents of a southwestern Illinois town were a bit peeved about an event that recently went down (and we literally mean went down) at the local city-owned, conference center. The three-day fetish fest called "Beat Me in St. Louis" (the city is located fifteen miles away, proving those S&M folks sure have a great sense of humor, not to mention geography) included water torture and bondage sessions. Over two dozen Fairview Heights residents and officials complained at a town-hall meeting last week, frustrated about the lack of public knowledge and transparency about the event.

Though the venue is owned by the city, City Administrator Drew Awsumb said in a statement that a leasing contract with the conference center clears the venue from having to notify the city about the nature of its events. To make matters even tamer and more private, the convention-center windows were completely covered during the sex fest (no peeking allowed) and law-enforcement officials provided extra patrol and reported zero incidents as well. Still, residents are demanding new ordinances to allow for greater public awareness of privately held events. They so want in during the next orgy.