Creepy doctor offers to give patients calorie-burning orgasms

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Dr. Nick Rivera from The Simpsons

There are good doctors, there are bad doctors, and there's Dr. Arie Oren of suburban Philadelphia, who's in trouble for offering calorie-burning orgasms in his office, among other things. During his tenure at an area weight-loss center, the trained medical professional had committed a number of travesties behind closed doors:

"If you have an orgasm, that would burn around 200 calories," he is quoted in his arrest affidavit as telling one patient who told him she was uncomfortable.

One victim said that Oren grabbed her breasts and said that although she may want to lose her stomach, she wouldn't want to lose her breasts, police said.

Another claimed that after assaulting her and putting her hand on his penis, he told her that "the visit is on the house because you're so hot," according to court documents.

Oren often used an electronic massager with a long handle and flat, round head around the victims' thighs and buttocks, telling them that it would break up the fat, police said.

He would then move the massager to the patients' genital area and then sometimes inserted his finger into the patients, according to court documents.

And so forth. Basically, he's a terrible person, and the cops now know that — he's being held in jail for four counts of aggravated indecent assault and eight counts of indecent assault. But really, calorie-burning orgasms? Come on, guy.