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Dennis Hof of Cathouse fame opening new alien-themed brothel

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If you ever dreamed of getting it on with Slave Leia, Neytiri from Avatar, or a Doctor Who Silurian, you're in luck: Dennis Hof, the beefy, red-faced proprietor (pimp) of Nevada's Moonlite Bunny Ranch (made famous by HBO's Cathouse: The Series) who currently owns five brothel licenses, is expanding his empire with an alien-themed brothel called Alien Cathouse, which will surely attract the geekiest whorehouse clientele ever.

The brothel, ninety miles northwest of Las Vegas, and undoubtedly capitalizing on the popularity of Comic-Con cosplay and porn parodies, is set to open in a month or two following renovations. Hof has recruited none other than former Hollywood Madam and lonely bird-lover, Heidi Fleiss, to plan the costumes and decor, saying, "She's the chief alien design queen."

The sleazy sixty-five-year-old also purchased a gas station, bar, and convenience store — which he's opportunistically rebranding as the Area 51 Alien Travel Center — adjacent to Alien Cathouse on U.S. Highway 95 in Nye County. Unfortunately, this endeavor will probably wind up on HBO and be a big success as well. Hof laughingly (the laugh of a millionaire sleaze merchant who knows the haters are just jealous) said, "Unless they're married, I don't want anyone in Nevada having sex unless I get a cut of the money."

Details are still being ironed out, like, for example, whether Alien Cathouse employees will have their bodies painted green, but one thing's for sure: this will probably be the closest anyone gets to having sex in space, at least for the foreseeable future.