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Dr. Ruth gives Linsanity-based sex advice

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Dr. Ruth isn't just the sex-advice-giving grandmother we all wish we had. Turns out she's also a big Knicks fan. In an article for The Daily Beast, Dr. Ruth explains what Linsanity — and basketball in general — can teach us about sex.

The whole article is basically an extended sports metaphor — that good sex is like a good game, and being a good partner is like being a good teammate. Not particularly revolutionary stuff. But here, taken out of context, are three of Dr. Ruth's best pearls of sexy basketball wisdom:

1. "No man can guess what gives his partner the most pleasure. She has to tell him. It’s like the alley-oop play. If the guard throws the ball above the hoop and the center isn’t expecting the pass, it will go sailing into the stands."  

Man, it's so embarrassing when that happens. 

2. "It’s also vital that two partners in a relationship exhibit team spirit. There are going to be days when one player doesn’t feel like going out onto the court, but he (or she) does it for the good of the team, and then makes sure to play his or her best. And you know what? If it results in a victory, the reward will be well worth the effort." 

I know I've always found it's best to think of orgasms as personal victories, preferably over my partner. 

3. "One more lesson that couples can learn from basketball. Before the game begins, the teams go out onto the court and warm up. They shoot balls and run around to get the blood flowing." 

That's what she said? I only kid, Dr. Ruth. You're actually pretty much the baddest woman alive. You can extend my metaphors anytime.