The Real Housewives of the Bible proves everything will be co-opted by Christians or pornographers

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The Real Housewives of the Bible

A little bit of internet trivia for everyone. Rule 34 is the law of the internet that stipulates that, if you can imagine it, it exists in porn. There are no known exceptions to this rule. However, some days, I feel like it needs an addition, a Rule 43 or something, that claims that if you can imagine it, it has a weird Christian parallel. Case in point, The Real Housewives of the Bible

Ty Adams, the CEO of the Heaven Network, is launching his own TV Housewives series. Here's how he describes it:  

Because of the popularity of the reality shows we’ve seen of the other Real Housewives, I saw women that weren’t able to stabilize their own relationships, and we get to see this aired on screen and yet we don’t see any solutions as to the problems they’re facing. I want people to understand how it feels again to fall in love. I wanted to showcase women who are having issues in relationships just like you see on these reality shows because this is real life. We’re not afraid to face those tough issues and so we wanted to not necessarily pick the perfect person who had everything, we wanted to find the hard issues and see how people work this out where you can really grasp the essence of what love and true love in relationships is.

So, that. I'm sure you will all excitedly tune into the premiere. And since I know you were wondering, yes, there is at least one known instance of Real Housewives porn. This May, Bravo reportedly accused the owners of of sullying their good name. Personally, I'd be more pissed off if I was Arizona — famous for its racists, old people, racist old people, and apparently, for porn.