News

Florida attempts to outlaw bestiality, accidentally outlaws sex

Pin it

animal kingdom

No one would accuse Floridians of being the cream of America's crop, so to speak, and I don't think of the average Florida resident as being overly self-aware. I did hope they were aware of what they literally are: animals. But whoever penned the new measure outlawing bestiality apparently forgot that we humans have not, yet, achieved the status of robot hybrids and sadly share ranks with animals of all kinds. The act reads as follows:

An act relating to sexual activities involving animals; creating s. 828.126, F.S.; providing definitions; prohibiting knowing sexual conduct or sexual contact with an animal; prohibiting specified related activities; providing penalties; providing that the act does not apply to certain husbandry, conformation judging, and veterinary practices; providing an effective date.

The act comes into effect October 1, 2011, so I wouldn't plan any romantic getaways anywhere in Florida after that time. Because you were probably planning on banging your significant other. You know he or she is an animal, right? Pervert.