French aristocrats introduce line of “luxury” condoms

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The Original Condom

Do you have champagne-and-caviar tastes? Then The Original Condom Co. has just the thing for you: a new "luxury" condom, The Original Condom, which comes in a distinctive gold-on-black, suede-lined box apparently "inspired by the world of jewelry." Three rubbers will set you back $13.50, with refills available at two dollars apiece.

The upscale prophylactic company was founded by Count Gil de Bizemont, along with (check out this pedigree) His Royal Highness the Prince Charles Emmanuel de Bourbon Parme, after passing through the town of Condom, France, where he was apparently struck by a bolt of obviousness:

"Would you be proud to have a traditional condom on your table when your mom visits you? With a nude woman on the box or something that says lubed or ribbed all over it?" 

The company says it donates a share of its earnings to nonprofits that fight HIV and AIDS, and, making Al Gore happy, manufactures its condoms on a rubber-tree plantation, helping to reduce carbon emissions by cutting down on raw material transport. The condoms are currently on sale online, and this month will be rolled out at some "higher-end retailers" and hotels. On their website it says, "Our messagge (sic) is: Safe Sex with elegance, chic and eco-aware." But, gorgeous packaging aside, nothing is said about the actual quality of the condoms. Vive capitalisme!