German zoo forcing gay vultures to sleep with lady vultures

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Gay vultures.

"The trouble began back in March," AOL News says, "when Guido and Detlef, two Griffon vultures, decided to move in together." You see, Guido and Detlef are gay "lovebirds" at a zoo in (where else?) Germany. 

Both birds are predatory males, but seemed to enjoy one another's company more than that of any female. 

And, like so many lovers before them, they simply wanted to build a life together.

The lovebirds began crafting a two-man nest out of stray twigs in a communal birdcage at their zoo. …They spent their days grooming one another with their beaks and fortifying their nest — though other vultures occasionally stole their building materials, as if to spite them. 

Yet the harassment Gudio and Detlef suffered from less tolerant vultures wasn't the end of it.

Guido was snatched from his partner and shipped 400 miles east to a zoo in the Czech Republic, where a new bride awaited him. In his place is a Czech temptress whom zookeepers hope can seduce Detlef. 

"Detlef is reorienting himself now," [Zoo curator Dirk Wewers] told the Telegraph. But he acknowledged that so far, Detlef and the Czech bird haven't touched one another.

Now gay-rights activists are holding demonstrations outside of the zoo. "This is like in the dark Middle Ages," one protestor told a German newspaper, "forcibly making a creature sexually reorient itself by tearing its partner from its side." Also, the Crusades. The Crusades happened during the Middle Ages too.

Read more about the plight of the gay vultures here.