Sea Captain Date

Because what woman doesn't want some good seamen in her life? And what person doesn't want to make a seamen joke when they read that headline? Or, if you really want to go for the gold, a poop-deck joke? Okay, moving on.

Apparently it's been around since 2007, but it's high time (and high tide! get it?!) that we all took a minute to appreciate Sea Captain Date, which is exactly what it sounds like. A website designed solely to connect lonely sea captains and the women who love them. If you think about it, it makes sense — the high seas are a mystical place, but not the best if you want to meet actual women. Or, as one captain puts it, "My mistress may be the sea, but the thing is... that's just an expression." Indeed.

While I try to decide whether Admiral420 or AllHandsOnDick is more likely to be soulmate material, you should check out this testimonial of one especially captain-y looking captain who came across the site after "Googling the internet." It's unclear how real this whole thing is, but I'm choosing to go with "extremely."

Commentarium (6 Comments)

Jan 14 11 - 8:25pm
Twolane

I don't know about the rest of you sailors out there, but I'm suspicious of that knot secured over only one end of the cleat. It's not a secure knot in the slightest. And it's a loop to boot. He doesn't know shit about shinola. And, uhh, MissTaco81? Really?

Jan 15 11 - 12:29am
Paranoimia

Sluts ahoy!

Jan 15 11 - 2:06am
La Bamba

Yo no soy marinero! Yo no soy marinero; soy capitan, soy capitan, soy capitan.

Jan 15 11 - 10:04am
LICK THE CARPET

Arrrrrrrrrr!

Jan 18 11 - 8:22pm
Ted

There looking for. Land hoe!!!

May 28 12 - 10:07pm
Of the Sea

Totally hilarious! Please purchase a sense of humor before you dis this!