It's not going out on much of a limb to say the GOP is the more repressed of the U.S.'s major political parties, thanks largely to its evangelical wing. Pimp daddy Hugh Hefner has spent the bulk of his adult life pointing this out during his downtime between orgies. And though reviewing an endless stream of potential blonde girlfriends can be time-consuming, Hefner did find a few minutes in his schedule to pen a full-page editorial in the May issue of Playboy titled "The War Against Sex."
Presumably written in a red smoking jacket while sipping top-shelf scotch, the op-ed has Hefner reacting to "repressed conservatives" trying to invade our bedrooms. He writes:
"For months I have watched the rhetoric building. Last October, in an interview with an evangelical blogger, Rick Santorum promised to defund birth control on the grounds that contraception is a license to do things in a sexual realm that is counter to how things are supposed to be… Ron Paul was no better, believing that the birth control pill did not cause immorality but that immorality creates the problem of wanting to use the pill. Mitt Romney vowed to see a constitutional amendment banning same-sex marriage and to overturn Roe v. Wade."
When it comes to politics, Hefner knows of what he speaks, having once served as a top advisor to Andrew Jackson. No stranger to inveighing against our Puritan legacy, he tells us, "All these years later I hear echoes of this same ignorance espoused by a new crop of self-appointed arbiters who are determined to oversee our morality." He alludes to Santorum sugar daddy and aspirin-contraceptive proponent Foster Friess, as well as Rush Limbaugh's sexist potty-mouth, concluding, "Fifty years of sexual freedom vanished in a sound bite."
Hef shows us he still has that old fire in the belly when it comes to defending the right to hole up in a mansion and watch old movies while boning to your heart's content, married or not. He warns:
"If these zealots have their way, our hard-won sexual liberations — women's rights, reproductive rights and rights to privacy — lie in peril. We won't let that happen…Welcome to the new sexual revolution."