Italian authorities battle prostitution by destroying a forest

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Adam and Eve in the Forest

You can’t halt the spread of the world’s oldest profession, but, it seems, you can halt the growth of the foliage that conceals it. The Guardian reports that in the Italian region of Abruzzo they are planning on doing just that. After employing everything from twenty-four-hour patrols to surveillance cameras to curb the rampant sex work occurring on Bonifica del Tronto road, it seems officials were all out of bright ideas. Until someone came up with the most brilliant solution for halting prostitution in a wooded area that the world has ever seen: “Let’s just cut down all the trees!"

Yes, that is exactly how Italian officials are now planning on stopping the illicit liaisons now frequently occurring under the protection of forest bramble. Much to the chagrin of the sex-loving environmentalists, they plan decimating “Sixty-nine acres of woodlands vital to the local ecosystems.” It’s insane, but this plan might just work. We all know it’s definitely a bummer to be making love to your prostitute on a luxurious dirt floor only to glance to your left, over a vast expanse of tree stumps, to find another dude making love to another prostitute.