Judah Friedlander might be hooking up with Susan Sarandon

It looks like all your nightmares have come true. According to reports, 30 Rock star and Nerve buddy Judah Friedlander might be having a torrid love affair with respected actress Susan Sarandon. 

We understand that you're probably confused, scared, alone. "How could this happen?" you ask aloud, perhaps to nobody. Well, you should know that Sarandon co-owns SPiN, a Manhattan ping-pong bar popular with my roommate. As it happens, it's also popular with Friedlander, who is often spotted there with the actress. The gossip goons at Page Six cottoned on to this and became suspicious: 

Friedlander stammered when we asked him if they "hooked up." He said, "You know, one of my New Year's resolutions is to only go out with Oscar winners." Later, he texted us: "I just can't say either way what's going on with me and Susan." 

That's classic dude-speak for, "I can't say that I am because I'm not, but I won't say that I'm not so that you think that I might be." If there is any veracity to the story, though, then Nerve readers may have a pretty good idea as to what Sarandon's nights have been like lately.