Everybody's favorite loudmouthed Korean actress/author/fashion designer/comedienne/LGBT activist, Margaret Cho concisely and charmingly defended her pan-sexual sluttiness on the The Wendy Williams ShowMs. Williams ever-so-tactfully led with a question that actually sounds pretty fun to answer (at least for me), "So, let's talk about your sexuality…" Her response was predictably priceless and fierce: "I don't like to say I'm gay or I'm straight. I'm just slutty." Considering the recent hubbub over women's reproductive health, the Rush Limbaugh v. Sandra Fluke maelstrom, international SlutWalks, and the endlessly-discussed place of women's sexuality in society, it is oddly refreshing to hear a forty-plus-year-old woman talking about her sexuality as though it were something really… fun. And healthy. And grown up.

See, Cho is married to a straight man, but has a boyfriend, and her husband has a girlfriend, but she and her husband don't sleep together, even though they are still married. Got that? She claims that monogamy is pretty much impossible for her: she'd prefer "to just hit it wherever I am and (with) whoever is in front of me." The thing is, her relationship style, while unconventional, is not as rare or "out there" as it might seem. Negotiating the parameters of any relationship can be (and usually is) a difficult dance that requires communication, compromise, a healthy dose of GGG, and a lot of trust, but navigating an open relationship requires all that, but with multiple partners. 

Juggling all those boundaries, sexualities, and relationship structures can be taxing and confusing. Tristan Taormino, sex educator, porn director and author of, Opening Up: A Guide for Creating and Sustaining Open Relationships, encourages a practical approach to polyamory at openingup.net, and there are approximately one million places on the internet to find communities of the polyamorous. With celebrities such as Tilda Swinton famously functioning in stable open relationships, it's a wonder we don't see more of this: Cho's quip, "I can't stop, so I'd rather just be honest," likely resonates with a ton of people. Frankly, though, if mature relationship structures and a healthy expression of sexuality is  what's meant by "sluttiness" then being slutty seems completely worth defending, if not celebrating.

Commentarium (10 Comments)

Jun 05 12 - 1:55pm
Loo

Yawn

Jun 05 12 - 2:32pm
steve

I'm glad she's sexually liberated or whatever (I'm pretty sex-positive myself) but I couldn't give a shit about whomever Margaret Cho is. I hate that the idea of "sex-positivity" also means "be as condescending as possible about it."

Jun 05 12 - 7:12pm
Caitlin

This Cho schtick is about 15 years old. She said, after sleeping with a hot chick on a cruise, "I was all like "Am I a lesbian?" then I realized, "No, I'm just really slutty! Hey, where's MY parade?" That got a big laugh from the crowd, cuz she was kind of sending up the indiscriminate sex-positivity of Gay Rights, but in a sweet way. It's cool that she's liberated and doesn't commit to anyone, right? Don't be a hater, right? Still I kinda think there's something nice about finding a person and sticking with 'em. Guess I'm just a dope!! ;-)

Jun 05 12 - 9:02pm
And the winner is

To each his own. She leaves your monogamous shtick alone, leave her slutty shtick alone.

Jun 05 12 - 9:11pm
Potter

She never really had open relationship...

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/04/magazine/tilda-swinton.html

Jun 05 12 - 10:18pm
thinkywritey

Where do these people get the fucking TIME. Must be the least introspective people on earth.

Jun 06 12 - 12:03pm
mp

when you enjoy fucking, you make fucking time.

Jun 06 12 - 9:51am
Kel

Good for her. She's living the way she wants. I don't call that a "slut." I call that "alive."

Jun 06 12 - 1:39pm
nope

What's radical or progressive about saying that all bisexuals/pansexuals are sluts? I don't give a shit about how many people she has sex with but the fact that she frames it as "gay, straight, or slut" is tired and regressive.

Jun 07 12 - 9:19am
LL

It's "refreshing" to hear a woman talk about enjoying her sexuality? In order to be refreshing, doesn't something have to be unusual? My guess would be 55-75% of Nerve's content is about, not only sex, but how much fun it is to be "slutty". Frankly, it would be more refreshing to hear a "loudmouth" woman cracking bad jokes about how she has trouble achieving the earth-shattering climaxes we've seen in every movie or t.v. show produced in the last twenty years. I'm a little bored with discussions of female sexuality that never get further than: "hey, this woman love's sex!!! And she admits it!! Shocking, right??! And awesome!!"

Nerve, not everyone who pursues an alternative lifestyle is interesting or relevant.