To the surprise of
embittered sassy single women everywhere, new data from Google indicates that men are actually more desperate eager to find love than they are. Wait, so single men, who everyone knows are cruel, heartless, and interested in sex and sex alone, supposedly want love? How could this be?
According to Google, the search "places to meet women" in New York City is fifty-five percent more popular than "places to meet men," which could either mean that urban single men are actually lonelier than the ladies, or that men and women just use the internet differently. Then again, it could also mean men are finding out about this mysterious "woman paying for Valentine's Day" rule that Martha Stewart has been pushing.
Meanwhile, searches nationwide for "single Valentine's day" have gone up 145% since 2005, and in the past month have climbed by 1500%. It's unclear if this plummet in American romance is attributable to the recession, the residual effects of the movie Valentine's Day, or the sharp increase in sightings of Newt Gingrich's terminally libido-killing jowls, but this has to come to an end! Whether it's standing outside your object of affection's house with a boombox over your head or obsessively calling, emailing, and texting until they finally agree to love you, let's all agree to finally make our romantic dreams come true this Valentine's Day.