New “Alibi” aftershave won’t leave you smelling like a stripper pole

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Want to unwind after a hard day of not looking at strippers, but tired of your girlfriend posing all sorts of annoying questions? Eliminate that pesky strip-club odor with "Alibi" — the only line of lie-concealing scents created by a strip club, for strip clubbers.

Introduced by a South African lap-dancing club called Maverick's, the new line of aftershaves and colognes will mimic the smell of real-life excuses.  

You're home late, your clothes are disheveled you smell of alcohol. How do you convince your better half you really weren’t out on the tiles? The answer may be here… in the form of a new range of aftershaves designed to throw suspicious wives and girlfriends off the scent.The Alibi range can mask the smell of a heavy night with aromas linked to more wholesome activities.

No longer will you be betrayed by the heady aroma of nipple wax and industrial pole-cleaner. Now when your inquisitive girlfriend starts nuzzling you and sniffing around, she'll have no idea that a part-time dental student named Asia Divine was nuzzling there only hours earlier. Instead you'll reek like you were "working late" or "just hanging out with the guys;" a scent that mimics a blend of man sweat and axle grease. Please note: I am not joking.

My Car Broke Down is said to recreate the scent of fuel, burnt rubber, grease and steel, while I Was Working Late packs the odour of coffee, wool suits, cigarettes and ink.

Congratulations, Slick! You've eliminated the smell of bad decisions! Now you'll just need an alibi for why your glove compartment contains a bottle of cologne called "Alibi."