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New England high school bans any sort of physical contact between students

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cast of the British TV show skins

Today, a high-school senior is fighting the man the only way teens know how: posting her outrage on the internet. To be fair, this student's anger, in this case at her school's newly passed "no-touching" decree, is really, really well written. And the school's new rule — which outlaws not only making out in stairwells but also a hug between friends — is really, really absurd. 

The protestor argues her classmates are capable of giving up hallway foreplay without sacrificing platonic contact between friends, saying "I am insulted by the presumption that I'm too immature to decide which kind of touches are appropriate for school."

Her petition, which she plans to pass around at her school for signatures, touches on four major points to back up her argument: one, not all touching constitutes PDA; two,  it's irresponsible to make blanket decisions for high-school students before they go off to college and have to make up their own minds about what's acceptable; three, separating school life from real life doesn't really promote a love of school and thus learning; and four, if you treat teens like children, they'll think like children. Some legitimate, well thought-out reasons.

It's just bad luck that this petition went up the same day Skins premieres, when parents and school officials are likely to want not only to ban touching but keep students five feet apart at all times, lest an orgy break out over lunch.