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New Green Day album will be about sex

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Caring about politics is so 2004. Which is why Green Day's new album will be about sex. I guess nothing rhymed with "corporate personhood."

In a short video posted to YouTube, Billie Joe Armstrong waxes poetic about the band's ninth studio album. "I think it's so personal and voyeuristic. This is the first time we've ever sung about fucking." Staring into Billie Joe's kohl-rimed eyes while being fucked senseless may not be my personal fantasy of choice, but I look forward to hearing what said experience is like. 

Hopefully it's sexier than his pants, which apparently got him kicked off a Southwest flight last September. The airline threw him off for indecency because his pants were sagging too low. No joke. Having once trick-or-treated at Billie Joe's mansion in the Oakland hills, I'm most confused by the question of why a millionaire chose to fly on Peanut Airlines. Maybe it's his way of staying connected to the people? Our own modern day ass-flashing Jesus of suburbia.