New study finds that insecure people are better at flirting

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You know how people say that when you're trying to flirt with someone, you should be confident? They're wrong: a new study from Queens College has found that insecure people make better flirts, because they so badly want to be liked. Confident people — who can be just as warm, funny, and interesting — can come off as arrogant and often give up on dropping some game earlier. Here's how the researches found out:

After recruiting 146 single university students, [Professor Claudia Brumbaugh had them fill out a questionnaire on how confident they felt in their everyday lives. The students then watched video segments that featured an attractive man or woman they were told was looking for a lunch date. These good-looking people asked questions like: How would you get an attractive person’s attention? How would you talk to this person? And finally, and portentously: Do you tend to worry about the relationships you’re in?

The study participants were given the opportunity to flirt with their videotaped interlocutors. Brumbaugh scored the subjects’ repartee based on 26 different criteria, among them eye contact and flattery.

The more insecure people simply worked harder, anticipating the needs of the other person and acting accordingly; they also gave more compliments.

Of course, there's a catch to all this. (Sorry, insecure readers.) While they may make a better first impression, eventually they get caught — when their insecurity leads to relationship problems like jealousy, anxiety, and a lack of communication.