Not a member? Sign up now
Tired of having to implement child-pornography laws to prosecute horny teenagers for, well, acting like horny teenagers, New York lawmakers have proposed the "Cyber Crime Youth Rescue Act," which would create an "educational reform program" to teach America's youth once and for all that if you text naked pictures of yourself, other people will find them:
"The program would teach children the potential legal consequences for sharing sexually suggestive or explicit images. And it would lay out the impact that such graphic materials could have on their relationships and career. And it would also stress to them 'the nearly unlimited ability of an infinite audience to utilize the Internet search for and replicate materials.'"
With (alleged!) cell-phone self-portraits of everyone from Blake Lively to Anthony Weiner floating around the media, their timing couldn't be better. More to the point, if terms like "unlimited ability of an infinite audience" — possibly the most terrifying phrase possible in this scenario — don't scare kids straight, I don't know what will.