November 18 is National Have Sex With a Guy with a Mustache Day

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It's very important for people to make empty, symbolic gestures in the name of "cancer awareness." You might think that growing a mustache in November (or "Movember") to raise awareness of cancers affecting men doesn't actually benefit anyone at all. But you're wrong. The fact that men are growing their mustaches out this month benefits us women who like to have sex with mustachioed men. See how this works? has declared November 18th "Have Sex With a Guy With a Mustache Day," and I'm grateful for this. This Thursday you get to use your vagina to have sex with a man who's using his facial hair to cure cancer. Everyone wins!