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Ohio woman claims to have witnessed hot, hot ghost sex

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If you heard the song "Grim Grinnin' Ghosts" at some point during your Halloween debauchery, you know from the lyrics that they occasionally come out to socialize. What the song doesn't tell you is that they also like to bone one another — at least, according to Euclid, Ohio woman Dianne Carlisle, who purports to have seen two spirits bumping uglies in her living room. "It looks like ghosts having sex in my living room!" she says of the above photo, which her four-year old granddaughter took while playing with her cell phone. "They are having sex, you can see the lady's high heeled shoes!"

Um, awkwardly paging Dr. Peter Venkman? We're calling because there's something strange in the neighborhood, but we don't want you to bust the ghosts so much as we want you to, like, take photos of them doin' it and stuff.

Carlisle's story has attracted the interest of paranormal experts nationwide. One such expert, Alexandra Holzer, says that the case is not an uncommon one, as there are many witness accounts of two ghosts having sex. "When you're dealing with residual energy, which is what a ghost is, any intense emotional experience can be imprinted, and that could be an act of passion," she says. 

So with Holzer's expert input, let's assemble a basic profile of the ghosts in Carlisle's house. A) They like to have sex. B) They don't mind having sex in front of four-year olds. Gross. C) One of them wears high heels, so she was female (or maybe not — who are we to make gendered assumptions of the deceased based on their footwear?) D) They were from Euclid, Ohio, a suburb of Cleveland, so they loved cold weather, LeBron James, pierogis, and inefficient mass transit. And, finally, E), They're not, in fact, ghosts, but the products of weird angles and lighting, because there's no such fucking thing as ghosts, and there's certainly no such thing as fucking ghosts.