Old people proms are apparently a new trend

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Everyone has a prom story. Usually they end up with vomit, weird sexual encounters, disappointment, or all three; you realize that the biggest social happening of your young life is nothing more than a glorified dance in the school gym with some guy trying to grind against your semi-formal dress to Ginuwine's "Pony."

But I guess some people didn't get enough prom the first time around, because adult proms are apparently the hottest new thing. So hot, in fact, that they made the front page of the New York Times print edition. (Talk about a slow news day.)

Taking place across the Midwest, these dances for fogies enable people to spend money on dresses and spray tans and try to score with the prom queen. And be forewarned, these are not parties to reunite with old high-school friends, the normal method of reliving the past:

"These are not reunions of former high-school classmates eager to relive the prom night they had together. A vast majority of revelers are in their twenties and thirties, although a few are in their early sixties and are simply excited at the prospect of getting decked out and dancing — and voting for the night’s king and queen."

Now, I can see why this is a somewhat attractive idea. Dressing up is fun, you're now legally able to drink so you can go all out, you've a few more years of sexual experience under your belt so pawing at someone will lead to a situation you can actually handle, and most excitingly, no curfew… Oh wait, no. As a grown-ass woman, I get to do those things every Friday night. Never mind.