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Students win legal right to wear “I Heart Boobies” bracelets

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I Heart Boobies bracelets

We've twice before updated you on the American school system's ongoing boobies-bracelet saga, but since it's been a while, let's recap. Bracelets reading "I [heart] boobies," intended to raise awareness about breast cancer, were becoming Pogs-popular with students across the country. Party poopers on the school boards, however, were less amused by the emerging trend and began banning the accessories from classrooms. The boobies-loving students were seemingly helpless. 

Until now. Thanks to a forty-page ruling issued by U.S. Judge Mary McLaughlin, the bracelets "can reasonably be viewed as speech designed to raise awareness of breast cancer and to reduce stigma associated with openly discussing breast health." Or in simpler terms, students can express their love for boobies all they want. 

This came after two female middle-school students in Pennsylvania were suspended for wearing the bracelets to school. The girls' families teamed up with the ACLU, brought the matter to federal courts, and scored a victory for America. Finally, our long national nightmare is over.