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Researchers discover why human penises don’t have whiskers

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Whiskers.

Ever looked at a penis and thought, "What the fuck is going on over here?" So did Stanford researcher David Kingsley, who led a team that got closer to unraveling the mysteries of the human schlong. The study, which was published in the journal Nature, is quite an eye-opener:  

They found one of sections of DNA deleted in the human genome was responsible for producing sensory whiskers, such as those in mice, and prickly spines, like those found on the penises of many mammals.

"People are always surprised to hear that the penis of many organisms are covered with these spines," Kingsley said in a telephone interview.

He said penile spines, or barbs, are typically present in species that mate quickly, such as male chimpanzees who must compete to fertilize one or two receptive females.

These spines — made from keratin, the protein found in fingernails — often lie over sensory receptors, and some experiments suggest removing them makes copulation last longer.

For humans, losing these penile spines might have prolonged intercourse and helped make monogamous relationships a more attractive option, the team said.

So there's your excuse, men who don't last long — just tell her you're less evolved.