Tony Perkins, president of the Family Research Council, is, like his famous namesake, a psycho. And though he should just be ignored, his latest gripe is just too good to not comment on. Perkins has a problem with Mike and Ike's corny new ad campaign, which posits that the pair have split up to pursue separate interests. "Mike" is attempting to make it as a musician, and "Ike" aspires to be an artist. Perkins, natch, thinks that the duo's "gay divorce" is sexualizing candy and eroding family values.

On his Monday radio bulletin, Perkins talked about the $15 million ad campaign and the fact that "even candy has an agenda!" He complained:

"And I don't know what's more disturbing — that advertisers think divorce appeals to kids or that sexualizing candy will make people buy more. After a year-long build-up, the company will reveal if the couple reconciles. Until then, look for Mike and Ike to have a distinctly liberal flavor."

It's one thing to find ambiguous humor in fictional twosomes like Batman and Robin, Bert and Ernie, and Gilligan and the Skipper, as Robert Smigel could tell you. But it's quite another to broadcast hate using non-existent characters as a platform. Mike and Ike are merely names. (I can't believe I'm writing this.) If Perkins had gone after Bartles & Jaymes for their effeminate wine coolers back in the day, that would have made more sense. They were at least portrayed by actors.

It should be pointed out that, of course, parent company Just Born has never suggested that Mike and Ike (who, again, don't exist) were ever in a relationship. And if they had been, so what? Opposite-sex couples like Mickey and Minnie or Kermit and Miss Piggy never got called out for sexualizing children. (And interspecies romance is way more scandalous.)

Bottom line: if you're in the mood for some jelly beans the size of horse tranquilizers, you should be able to enjoy them free of sexual politics.

Commentarium (11 Comments)

Apr 24 12 - 6:11pm
LAP

Humans have really jumped the shark.

Apr 25 12 - 1:34pm
YoungTony

LMAOOOO

Apr 24 12 - 8:05pm
Uncle sam

Mike and Ike's have always been primarily a homosexual candy. That's why as a true red blooded American I stick with the Fuzzy Peaches.

Apr 24 12 - 8:58pm
Thinkywritey

According to these types, men can't be fends with men cuz it's gay, men can't be friends with women because it's scandalous, and women can't be friends with women because of Ellen... And they say it's the Internet that is making us more isolated.

Apr 24 12 - 11:17pm
melbot

It's candy...some people read a little too much into normal everyday things. Like candy.
How about we try to use our brains and come up with solutions to local/regional/global problems...and not waste time demonizing candy.

Apr 25 12 - 7:30am
Mau5

What if after dinner I asked if you wanted some Ben & Jerry? Could be ice cream, could be gay sex.

Apr 25 12 - 10:01am
Greg

Blah blah blah Homophobe blah blah blah right wing blah blah blah christian blah blah.
Pretty much every Nerve article.
Why are these folks so worried about what Christians are up to?
I mean, they have no problems with Muslims hating on Gays (and boy do they ever).

Apr 25 12 - 11:03am
Mark

Well, 78% of Americans identify as Christian, 0.6% identify as Muslim. So... yeah.

Apr 25 12 - 2:41pm
Kel

Also, Christians say the most hilariously narrowminded stuff about women, homosexuals, "foreigners" and other races, but get so touchy when someone gives it back to them. It's almost like they hate personal freedom, equal rights, separation of church and state and all that other un-Christian stuff in the Constitution. But, to be completely fair and balanced, Christians did come up with forced transvaginal probes.

Apr 25 12 - 4:16pm
Rex Merritt

How do these Holy Rollers manage to find "gay" almost everywhere in nearly everything, but can't issue a jot of tolerance if their souls depended on it? The day is coming soon when they'll suggest Jesus was gay because he had long hair, and wore robes and sandals.

Apr 25 12 - 11:46pm
Felipe Arcano

I'm just wondering if this guy wasn't paid to put out such a statement... If he was in fact paid, kuddos for the most amazing minds in digital advertising out there!