San Francisco Giants pitcher Brian Wilson appears on TV with his leather slave

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Brian Wilson, a relief pitcher for the San Francisco Giants and definitely not one of the Beach Boys, has been making appearances on TV interviews along with, or while bringing up, "The Machine," a gimp-masked gentleman who Wilson says "doesn't talk much." Brian Wilson is my new favorite baseball player. Also my new favorite thing about baseball, full stop. (Not a huge baseball fan here, clearly.)

It's a bit odd that everyone's making a note of this now when the Machine made his big appearance back in August, but I guess lots more attention is what going to the World Series will get you.

So, is Brian Wilson just a total perv who keeps an S&M sex slave in his house and occasionally likes to engage in national-television-enabled exhibitionism? I hope so, but the truth is more likely that this is just his weird sense of humor, and that the Machine is actually Giants outfielder Pat Burrell, who shares a house with Wilson and used to be nicknamed the Machine before coming to San Francisco. Not quite as freaky, though still just as funny.