Maybe it's because I grew up listening to The Hanson Brothers and not Motown, but this Scientific American study just doesn't speak to me. But I'll still give you ladies who find men with low voices sexy a run down on the reasons behind your animalistic tendencies. It's not exactly news, but now it's a Scientific Finding (aptly called "The Barry White Syndrome"):

"Studies have demonstrated a female preference for men with deeper voices as short-term partners... And elsewhere, research finds that North American men with lower-pitched voices report higher numbers for sexual partners in comparison to men with higher-pitched voices."

It turns out that although one might assume that a man with a deep voice would be more manly (i.e. be able to hunt and protect better and be bigger and hairier and hunkier) it's not necessarily true in the sexual selection sense. Because — and sorry to the fellas with those dreamboat Clooney voices — according to a  December PLoS paper, "men with deeper, attractive voices have lower sperm quality than men with less attractive voices."

It's doubtful that most women are actively looking for men with "high sperm quality," but still. Looks like the men with high-pitched voices might have more options than just... me, now that all the ladies know what they're missing out on. You could even cite that article next time a lady ignores you and your cartoony voice at a bar! "Hey babe, according to Scientific American, I may actually have superhuman sperm." (No, maybe don't do that. Just hit me up.)

Commentarium (3 Comments)

Jan 05 12 - 5:07pm
Shorley Ujest

Who cares about low-quality sperm. I'm looking for action, not knocking a bitch up!

Jan 16 12 - 10:46pm
Ace

With an attitude like that and the fact that you call women bitches, it's no wonder you're not getting any "action." Low-quality sperm is the least of your problems.

Feb 20 12 - 5:21am
Ryan

Touche!