Well, there goes one more fun, easy excuse for why you mysteriously put on weight — a new study shows that not only do birth-control pills not actually cause weight gain, they might even help you take off a few pounds. That is, if we can safely assume that human females have the same response to the pill as the rhesus macaque monkeys used in the study, conducted by the Oregon National Primate Research Study Center. "This study suggests that worries about weight gain with pill use appear to be based more on fiction than on fact," said one of the study's authors.
Whether the findings come as a relief ("sweet, I won't get fat!") or a disappointment ("shit! why did I get fat?"), they're destined to serve as the source of shouting matches on The View for weeks to come. And so it was foretold.