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Taliban training manual advises terrorists fake being gay to discourage female spies

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A new terror-training manual authored by Afghani Taliban warlords demonstrates some outside-the-box thinking in pursuit of jihadist aims. The sixty-four-page manual (written in English) is titled Class Notes From The Security and Intelligence Course and was written "to provide basic principles of security for working brothers in Europe," as the introduction states.

One of those principles is apparently pretending to be homosexual, so as to foil the enticements of female spies, and their treacherous, honeyed advancements. As the handbook puts it:

"Many hotels, especially in busy UK cities have women hanging around the lobby areas in order to attract men. A young beautiful woman may come and talk to you. The first thing you do to protect yourself from such a situation is to make dua (prayers) to Allah for steadfastness. The second thing is to find an excuse to get away from her that is realistic and sensible, such as you having a girlfriend for the past few years and you are loyal to her or you are homosexual."

Islamic extremists are also advised to discourage would-be Mata Haris by drinking appletinis and extolling the virtues of Wham! (Just kidding. But that would be funny if "Wham!-bam-no-thank-you-ma'am" entered the lexicon.)

The manual, placed online following the assassination of Osama Bin Laden, was discovered by Sunday Mirror investigators on a jihadist website catering to U.K. cells, and is partly a response to an MI5 female-spy recruitment drive initiated several months ago. Other advice for terrorists-in-training includes not overly socializing with neighbors, and wearing sunglasses to make identification more difficult. Not included in the manual is advice on how to keep the manual itself from being leaked.