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Testicle controversy hangs heavy over Long Island town

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BumperBalls

A Long Island fire department has erupted in (a) flame (war) over a pair of hot balls. I know that makes no sense but there's really no other way to introduce a controversy involving sweaty fireman, sweaty balls and a Mayor for whom I am fresh out of "sweaty balls" jokes.

It seems a set of blue balls (a.k.a. the novelty item BumperNuts) on someone's truck is the source of strife, with one casualty so far: a volunteer fire chief in Freeport, Long Island who busted a nut and a couple of paychecks:

Two months ago volunteer Chief Daniel Fee was asked by the mayor of Freeport to lop 'em off after public complaints. And Fee did as he was told—only to hang them up again inside of the vehicle. When the mayor saw the scrotum suspended in the air, Fee was suspended for 30 days. [Gothamist]

Gothamist headlined the controversy: "Jokey Balls Too Hot For LI Firehouse." Come on, that's the best you can do, Gothamist? I'm betting our commenters can top that…

Truck nuts