Valentine’s Day infograph charts how bad your gift is

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You know what we need, boys? A handy guide of what to do — and what not to do — for Valentine's Day. Because us males, ugh, we're just so stupid about these sorts of things, right?

Thankfully, the kind ladies over at the Frisky have whipped up a nifty little approval matrix that critically evaluates your potential gift-giving ideas, like perfume or "dinner for two," which I guess sounds more romantic than just "dinner" and apparently is more romantic than a "home-cooked meal."

Here's a brief glimpse into at least one woman's mind:

But just when you thought ladykind was making things easier on you, you see two different "engagement ring" scenarios ranked in separate quadrants — one where she says yes ("romantic") and one where she says no ("lame"). So, um, don't buy her one of those if she's… not going to marry you? Aw, shucks, love is still so hard.