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Vermont high schoolers boycott dance over ban on grinding

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Administrators from South Burlington High School in Vermont recently canceled the school's Winter Ball because ticket sales were so low. Why were sales so low, you ask? It's not just because people in high school barely care about dances, if that's what you're thinking! It's because the school put a ban on grinding, the dance style that falls somewhere between Lambada (the forbidden dance) and daggering on the "looks like screwing" scale.

Apparently, enough students felt grinding was so necessary to their enjoyment of a dance that they decided not to go. Then more students opted out because not enough students were going. And then the whole thing just collapsed, and the principal was unable to be swayed on the issue, and [Footloose joke here]. This story may sound dumb, but it's worth it for this journalistic attempt to describe grinding:

Grinding is a popular form of dancing in which participants rub their bodies against each other, usually with the partners facing the same direction.

Stop it, Burlington Free Press, you're getting me too excited! The real head-slapper with this story, however, is that the administration barely put a ban on grinding: the rule is that students must simply face each other. Which, if you ask me, can get way dirtier.