Village Voice: Women should shut up and stop blaming men for their singledom

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Carrie Bradshaw

Basically all single women have heard tales of New York as a cruel, barren place to find love, full of perenially immature men who won't commit because they just don't have to, or something like that. Well, big news, single ladies: the Village Voice is here to tell you that it's not their fault for not wanting to lock it down, it's yours. In Jen Doll's latest feature for the Voice she argues that city-dwelling women don't find the relationships they're trying for because in reality, they're not sure if they even want them in the first place. See below:

It's a fact that, at least in the non-romantic portions of life, understanding and expressing what you want makes achieving it far easier, whatever the "it" is. Yet, by and large, New York City women fail to be specific with men about what they really want and instead just go along with things hoping for the best and getting angry when it doesn't work out that way. Or they're so specific, with such intricately wrought lists of requirements for what they will and won't date, that they miss the point altogether — if the criteria is that complicated, maybe they don't actually want to be with someone at all yet.

Perhaps this is changing. I've heard of at least two single New York women who have set their own wedding dates for themselves — minus even a potential boyfriend. Say what you will about the "method," but I think they should be congratulated for having at least acknowledged what they want while so many of us wait aimlessly for a nebulous "Mr. Right" with whom we will fall deeply and madly in love in the kind of fantasy relationship promoted by romantic comedies. When that doesn't happen, because it can't happen — it never happens — we blame the men. But ladies, we are so much smarter than that!

Yeah, chances are you'll be hearing about this one for a while. So what do you think: empowering and on-point or condescending and off-base? Let us know in the comments.