Watch: English soccer star Wayne Rooney's sex tape

The Wayne Rooney sex tape is a product of his sex scandal

Wayne Rooney, the famous British soccer star (above, right) that many of you didn't know existed before this sentence, is embroiled in a high-profile sex scandal. As our gossip-hungry friends across the pond already know, Rooney cheated on his wife with expensive prostitute Jenny Thompson (above, so not right).

And for eager Googlers awaiting the Wayne Rooney sex scandal to produce a Wayne Rooney sex tape, the Internet has delivered... this:

That's a clip from NextMedia World Edition, Taiwan's premiere "animated news" source. The CGI video features the "randy" Manchester United player: having doggy-style sex with a woman solving a sudoku puzzle, receiving oral sex from a denture-free senior citizen apparently known as "Auld Slapper," and getting ejected from his home by his wife. If you're confounded by these inclusions, then you didn't read the drop-down text on NextMedia's YouTube page, abridged here:

[Ms. Thompson] said that Rooney had a threesome with her and a friend. She said the sex was "boring." In 2004, it was reported Rooney had visited grandmother Patricia Tierney for sex. This latest scandal could spell the end of his two-year marriage to childhood sweetheart Colleen.

But even the buttoned-up Taiwanese media couldn't help ending the news item with a jab at English football:

England fans, however, are more concerned that the story will lead Rooney to perform as badly as he did at the recent World Cup.

Hey-O!

Via BuzzFeed

Commentarium (4 Comments)

Sep 07 10 - 4:06pm
forcefielder

These CGI recreations of gossip news are wild. Are we looking at the future of news reporting? What if we had a full recreation of the OJ murders? Or Lewinsky blowing Bill?

Sep 07 10 - 4:13pm
Moops

"What if we had a full recreation of the OJ murders? Or Lewinsky blowing Bill? " — We do: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ

Sep 07 10 - 10:16pm
bearman33

Did she think the sex with Wayne Rooney was going to be exciting? With that stubby little twerp?

Sep 08 10 - 10:04am
HardyHar

I love it when one of England's golden boys is dethroned.