Victoria's Secret releases "Valentine Do's and Don'ts" video

"Don't sit at home and cry if you don't have a date," says Victoria's Secret's "Valentine Do's and Don'ts" video, as if it's just that easy. Whatever, Victoria's Secret, you're not my real mom!

Other nuggets o' wisdom include:

• "Don't ever wear granny panties."

• "Do buy flowers, even for men."

• "Don't lie to me, unless it's for a surprise."

• "Do love me at first sight, and second sight and third sight."

• "Don't bring your mother on our date."

But the thing about text is that, even when italicized, it's just not as sexy as women who don't seem to own any shirts:

So what'd you guys think? Does anyone else have their own tips they'd like to share with the class?