It's officially time to reconsider your trademark kiss-your-significant-other-while-they're-on-the-toilet move: Sheboygan resident Karen Lueders has been arrested on charges of "felony mayhem" for biting off her husband's tongue after, well, he tried to kiss her while she was on the toilet. Lueders reportedly went into a "manic state" at the misguided romantic gesture and took hold of her husband Willard's genitals while biting off half his tongue. Police then found her outside "still carrying a New Year's horn in her hand and singing Christmas carols," while her husband stayed inside holding gauze to his mouth, and later in court she leaned into a reporter, saying, "I love you. It's too bad you don't listen. I love you. Karen Lueders," in a what the Sheboygan press called a "singsong voice." And thus, the inevitable Lifetime movie I Love You, It's Too Bad You Don't Listen: The Karen Lueders Story was born.