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Would you sleep with a $56 condom?

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It's the same old story: you meet a guy, have a few drinks, hit it off. He suggests he goes back to his place, and you're super into it. You both retreat to his sweet apartment, things get a bit saucy, you lose your pants… and then he takes out a Trojan condom, and you're like, "Ew. You're poor." That's because you only sleep with men who use condoms that cost more than a bottle of Grey Goose. That's why Naked condoms were invented: not for safety. Not for comfort. For straight-up elitism:

In the last few years, a number of companies have sprouted up seeking to cater to the luxury condom buyer, among them The Original Condom Company, Sir Richard's Condom Company and Proper Attire.


But Naked is by far the most luxe — or costly depending on your point of view. A 12-pack of Naked condoms retails for a whopping $56, or just less than $5 per condom.

Much like the Christian Dior contact lenses with real gold in them, this is an item that does very little but costs a whole big bunch. The company's CEO believes this appeals to the "edgy" demographic, but if this is your definition of edgy I have a back-alley meth lab to show you. (Seriously. You interested? First one's free.) The point is: never sleep with someone who buys fifty-six-dollar condoms. Unless he's paying your rent, as well.