Bradley Cooper might star in a remake of “The Crow,” unfortunately

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Bradley Cooper

I'm not going to bash Bradley Cooper, I promise. I am actually fond of Bradley Cooper, All About Steve not withstanding. He's carved out a nice little niche for himself as the good-looking douche who everyone hates to love. So, why is he in talks to star in a remake of The Crow?

I understand that the remake is the new Shakespeare adaptation, but come on! For the sake of brevity, let's drop the fact that this movie probably shouldn't be happening at all, and focus on Brad.

When I look at Bradley Cooper, the last thing I see is the next emo, leather-clad, half-dead superhero. If he wants to transition into action, I am all for that, but painting his face white and strapping on some platform boots doesn't seem like the way to do that. Maybe director Juan Carlos Fresnadillo (28 Weeks Later) will revolutionize the source material and prove me wrong, but I'm not holding out hope. Either way, the production of this film is moving at a blistering pace — plans are to shoot this fall — so, I fear my plea will go unheard.