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Breaking: Disneyland employees can now grow beards, pinko soul patches still banned

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Disneyland

Starting February 3, parents and kids visiting Disneyland might have to brace themselves for some bearded Aladdins, Dopeys, and Cinderellas. Disneyland has announced that it will be cutting back on its super strict dress code (the "Disney Look" — which I believe consisted of corsets, tights, and an unnerving smile in the past) to allow employees to grow more facial hair.

Now before you gauged-ear punks and pink-haired weirdos get any ambitions of one day operating the Tower of Terror, slow your roll. The new code will only allow beards and goatees shorter than a quarter of an inch. Soul patches, visible tattoos, body piercings (other than ladies' pierced ears), "extreme" hairstyles or colors, and bald-headed women are still not allowed at Club Disney. But jeez, if you think that's constricting, consider the fact that anyone with an extra "X" chromosome couldn't wear sleeveless shirts or skirts without pantyhose until 2010. (Again, hussies, calm down. The straps still have to be three inches wide now.)

Spokeswoman Betsy Sanchez had this to say, in a statement:

"Disney Look guidelines are periodically reviewed in relation to industry standards, as well as the unique environment of our theme parks and resorts. While we are careful to maintain our heritage and the integrity of our brand, a recent review of our guidelines led to a decision that an update was appropriate at this time."

I don't know, Betsy. At this rate, the next time I visit Disneyland, I might see a woman in pants. In pants. Have you no shame?