Man, what a sordid affair this turned out to be. First Brett Ratner steps down from his post as director of the Oscars after claiming that "rehearsal is for fags," and that was all fine and good, because really, fuck that guy. But now it turns out that the Academy Awards' scheduled host Eddie Murphy can apparently only work under the masterful directorial instincts of an auteur like Ratner — he's leaving the Oscars, too.

Which sucks.

Now, there are plenty of reasons to badmouth the Oscars. They're not very compelling, the best films usually lose, the speeches are one large circle jerk for one of the most annoyingly insular communities in the world, and the hosts are generally either dull on their own or read terribly dull material from the teleprompters. But, still. This wasn't going to be a "safe" choice like Steve Martin or Billy Crystal, or an obvious trackwreck like that Anne Hathaway/James Franco fiasco.

This was going to be Eddie Murphy hosting it. This was to be the next step in his comeback trail, one that started with returning to (somewhat) comedy in Tower Heist and continued in an unusually candid interview with Rolling Stone, one that'd see him try to reclaim his spot as the Funniest Man In the World. (Bill Simmons over at Grantland has a pretty great reminder of just how transcendent Murphy's career was at one point, and thusly how far his star has fallen, that's worth the read.) Would it have worked? Would the Oscars have been funny or, at the very least, watchable this year? Would Eddie Murphy have rekindled his spark and ventured on a second-half comeback that saw his forgoing kids' movies for actual comedies? Who knows. Now we'll never find out.

So, in summary once again: Brett Ratner — fuck that guy.

In lieu of what could have been, we are left instead with this, one of Eddie's finest moments thus far, which we can watch over and over again from the comfort of our tear-stained office chairs:

On second thought, maybe this isn't really that big of a deal.

Commentarium (16 Comments)

Nov 09 11 - 4:28pm

I assume he is leaving out of solidarity with Rattner. I bet he'd be singing a different tune if Rattner had dropped the N-bomb.

Nov 09 11 - 4:39pm


I guess Eddie has no solidarity with his career...

Nov 09 11 - 5:25pm
Jeff @ DTM

Because "fuck that guy"? That's your reasoning? South Park did a whole episode around calling people a "fag" and I bet you guys all thought it was the "best thing ever" but Ratner does the same job and fuck that guy?

Make up your hipster little mind...

Nov 09 11 - 5:46pm

You're right. I'm sure that Ratner, in his off-the-cuff interview, was using "fag" as a way to bring attention to the fact that the only reason certain words like that have the power to be hurtful is because they've been given a cultural weight by being off-limits and taboo. If his movies have taught us anything, it's that Brett Ratner's certainly one sly, deep-thinking man.

Nov 09 11 - 5:52pm

In this case the 'fags' win.

And by 'fags' I mean south park 'fags.'

Nov 09 11 - 6:41pm

Man, FUCK that guy. This wasn't some innocent slip of the tongue, or a confusing statement that got garbled out of context. This wasn't Von Trier at Cannes. This was THREE fuck-ups, each worthy of their own private debacle, within what, a week? He was only a shitty director before this, but now he's a shitty director who has been revealed to be a totally thoughtless fratboy at heart.

Nov 09 11 - 7:41pm
Wait, what?

Listen. I love gay men. They throw the best parties. But everyone needs to get over the "power of words". No one gave two shits about Ratner a few days ago. Don't let him jump on your radar because of a slur. We're all above the menial meanings of words. Fag or not, words are inert and discussing their relevancy is but an exercise in futility.

Nov 10 11 - 3:38am
Wait, what?

I love gay men more than you think. As a closeted teabagger, I know a thing or two. commenters have been warned!

Nov 09 11 - 8:01pm

Eddie Murphy is a piece of shit who was NEVER funny. Get over it, and stop sucking his balls. He doesn't want a comeback? Well hey I don't want him to come back.

Nov 10 11 - 3:37am
So True

He is such a failure: That's why he's so rich.

Nov 10 11 - 12:28am

So apparently both god and Eddie Murphy hates 'fags.'

Nov 14 11 - 3:34pm
Demon X

I see they let a dumbass bitch like Audrey on this scite this must be a really shitty one lol.

Nov 20 11 - 8:25am

How neat! Is it raelly this simple? You make it look easy.

Nov 20 11 - 12:59pm

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Nov 24 11 - 1:32pm

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