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The Avengers had a record-setting opening weekend

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Avengers

It may seem like the box-office records get broken anytime something with a vampire, comic book, or "2" attached to it hits theaters, but The Avengers set a truly mind-boggling new weekend haul with $200.3 million in domestic gross. To put things in perspective, the previous record holder, Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, only took in $169.2 million. Pfffft. Wizard losers.

The Avengers earned $151.5 million overseas this weekend and, since it opened early internationally, that puts its total foreign box office at $441.5 million, making the entire receipt $641.8 million. For another "holy shit, Joss Whedon just got mega-rich" comparison, that's more money than Iron Man, Iron Man 2, Thor, or Captain America made in their entire theatrical runs.

Deathly Hallows still holds the record for opening-day gross, and The Avengers didn't even touch the midnight-showings record, but hot damn is that a lot of cash. It's going to a very deserving movie, so a tip of my hat to you, Avengers. Just please don't let the studios use this to greenlight fifty spin-offs and make Robert Downey Jr. sign a blood contract that he will only appear in franchise movies for the rest of his life. I know it's a hefty task, but seeing how you handled that whole "save Earth from total domination" thing, I've got faith in you. Don't let me down.