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Hillary Clinton pens note to Jason Segel, proves again that she's cooler than you
By EJ DicksonMay 1st, 2012, 10:45 pmComments (35)
Hillary Clinton is out-awesome'ing herself left and right these days. (Reaganing, perhaps, although maybe that's not the right reference point.) First, she demonstrated that she could party just as hard as your former college roommate with daddy issues when she was photographed chugging beer and getting her freak on at a Colombian bar at 12:45 a.m. Then, she proved she had a solid sense of humor by contributing to the Texts From Hillary meme. Now, Hill Clints is continuing her mission to make you think she is a BAMF by crafting a witty, self-referential note to How I Met Your Mother star Jason Segel, who everyone knows is tied with Zack Morris and Grover from Sesame Street as the most aggressively likeable individual in America (which I guess would make Hillary Clinton the twenty-first century Kelly Kapowski and/or the perky orange girl Muppet, but that is neither here nor there).
Sadly, the Secretary of State's note was not a thinly veiled, anonymous love letter made of old newspaper clippings asking Segel to go to next year's White House Correspondents Dinner with her; instead, it was a response to Segel's long-running joke with reporters that Clinton is the as-yet anonymous mother in How I Met Your Mother. Segel has also been campaigning to get Clinton to appear in the (totally made-up) sequel to Forgetting Sarah Marshall, Sarah Marshall 2: This Time It's Personal, joking, "I just feel like she'd be really good at comedy" to Us Weekly in March.
Sadly, the world will probably never get to see an awkwardly naked, nakedly awkward Clinton/Segel sex scene: as Segel explained on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon last week, Clinton politely turned down Segel's offer by sending him what is probably the most charming rejection letter of all time:
I was delighted to read about your interest in sharing the big screen with me. As you can imagine, I am a little occupied at the moment, but perhaps someday I can help you forget Sarah Marshall... again. My only condition is that there be Muppets involved, and that is non-negotiable. In the meantime, you have my best wishes for continued success with your career.
Of course your only condition is that there be Muppets involved, Hill Clintz. Of course it is. Because you + Muppets + Jason Segel would be the coolest thing ever, and you are clearly hell-bent on being so awesome that you're actually trying to make all of our heads explode. God, I'm sounding like a fangirl over here. Now I know why Bieber Fever is a thing.
Commentarium (35 Comments)
That's Hillary Clinton? I thought it was the Crypt Keeper.
She really doesn't look half bad there, and way better than she does in a lot of other photos.
half bad? Where do you hang out.
And teeth should be white, not yellow-green.
Why don't you post a picture of yourself, then?
Wait, on second thought, please don't.
That will be all.
My teeth are white not yellow-green. No wonder Bill had to find another women to service him!
I don't need to see your teeth to know that you are a thoroughly disgusting troll.
JFC, how ridiculous has the teeth whitening trend gotten that those teeth could be seen as yellow. I know it's Greg, but come on. They look fine. She drinks coffee sometimes, whatever.
There is no swimsuit competition in the bid for secretary of state. So really this shouldn't even have to be said, but: the woman is 65 years old. She looks pretty good. Do you really think her husband is more conventionally attractive than she is? Or is she the only one required to halt the aging process?
The whole premise of the article is that somehow the guy pictured on the right would be interested in the women on the left. Uhhh, sorry, a big no on that. And yes, her husband is way more attractive than her and could still bang Hollywood Starlets (and probably does) where as she would be sitting by herself at closing time.
No Greg, that is not the premise at all. And the fact that you think it is is very odd. He wanted to be in a movie with her, not sleep with her. Your reading comprehension leaves a lot to be desired.
Jesu Christo, who is this Greg person? Do you have any idea of what a pile of bile you're sounding like here? Politicizing an article that has nothing to do with politics, and then being a geyser of ugliness by harping on how HRC looks? Really? Wow. You're a piece of work, man.
She's gearing up for another presidential run.
You dumb fucks are so easily impressed. Hillary is a horrible, awful person.
Horrible, awful only if you are an insecure, hating person who is afraid of strong women. Hil is Awesome!
I love strong women. I hate self-absorbed, self-centered, egotistical, maniacal women who will step on anyone and do anything in their quest for power and control. That is why "Hil" is most definitely, certainly, absolutely NOT awesome.
When did the definition of a "strong woman" become someone who acts as a prop for her husband?
Rick Santorum, is that you?
I heard Segel has been cast to play Maeby Fünke in the reboot of Arrested Development.
I think Hillary's greatest achievement was being named after Edmund Hillary even before anyone knew who he was and before he'd climbed Everest. It's like she was a mystic soothsayer as a a baby!
The single most maligned human being of the last 50 years - as further evidenced here. The absolute certainty and presumed familiarity of folks like Greg and Restippe, as they vomit bile on a person they've never met, is the sort of garbage that convinced me that feminists are mostly right.
Hill is perfectly awesome and stunningly gracious as well. I hope that she is "self absorbed, self centered, egotistical, and maniacal" enough to "step on" enough of the right people and "do whatever (nasty, horrible) things" need doing to "get power and control". And the white house.
'Cause nobody else seems willing to - certainly not all those male pols.
Really, of the past 50 years? Uhhh, more so than Martin Luther King? More so than LBJ? More so the George Bush?
What has Hillary EVER done other than NOT service Bill?
The ONLY reason she's on the radar is because she was married to a MAN who became President. What a great role model for women. Name her accomplishments?
Perhaps you misunderstand the meaning of the word "maligned", but yes, more than MLK, LBJ, or "W" , even taken together.
Many people have said nasty things about all three, even made personal insults unrelated to their actual words or deeds, but I don't recall anyone making vile assaults on any of those guys about their sexual habits -though they were all accused of infidelity at one time or another - or personal physical appearance AS IF THAT EVEN MATTERED IN A POLITICAL FIGURE.
Nobody called MLK or LBJ a slut, a whore, or a homosexual, I've never read articles about W's looks (except homo-erotic comments about his codpiece in that "mission accomplished" flight suit), but somehow a lousy pic that make her teeth look discolored is enough for you to spew venom at Hill.
I didn't say she has accomplished more, I said she has been maligned more. You went and maligned her just to prove me right.
Here, here, Gazbo.
Well said, Gazbo.
Sorry, very wrong on MLK ...
"The FBI distributed reports regarding such affairs to the executive branch, friendly reporters, potential coalition partners and funding sources of the SCLC, and King's family.[173] The Bureau also sent anonymous letters to King threatening to reveal information if he did not cease his civil rights work.[174] One anonymous letter sent to King just before he received the Nobel Peace Prize"
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Martin_Luther_King,_Jr.
Compare that to "Poor Hillary's" burdensome cross, ha!
Since the first sentence of Gazbo's post wasn't enough to make you learn the word, Greg, I'll do this for you:
Malign: Verb: To speak about (someone) in a spitefully critical manner.
If you truly can't understand the difference between what Gazbo is saying and what you're saying, well, I'm sorry for you and your obtuseness and/or low intelligence.
Hey, putting that degree in Art History to work there? Ha, Ha.
George W. Bush was maligned FAR more than Hillary ever was. Michael "Fat Shit" Moore made an entire movie attacking him. Two douche-bag wrote a play about assassinating him. The problem with you lefties is you live in a bubble of like minded people who never question or venture outside of their clique. So you THINK Hillary is a victim. Look at how Paul Jones, a real victim of sexual harassment was assaulted. That's someone who was Maligned.
btw, what restaurant do you wait tables at?
And Gregg, for the win, gets the Grand Prize in the "completely fails to grasp the concept" sweepstakes.
Too tired to fight about it.
Seriously guys, we need to stop feeding the troll. He's not someone who's at all interested in thoughtful debate, just insults (most of which are nonsensical, as in his last post) and vitriol. Why bother? Civilized, astute debate is clearly beyond him.
"Art History" degree? What kind of a jibe is that? Oh, I see, your jumping from the supposed stupidity of admiring Hilary Clinton's accomplishments to the supposed stupidity of people who support the arts or value education for reasons other than its ability to bring them economic prosperity. The problem with you "righties" (since apparently it doesn't make you sound dumb and ignorant to attack someone solely based on where they sit on the political spectrum instead of their actual ideas) is that you live in a bubble where everyone who sits further left than you is automatically considered a joke. The other problem: you consider calling people "fat shit" or "douchebag" arguments against them.
1.) The Art History dig is aimed at the typical NYC Liberal who goes to college and gets a totally worthless degree and winds up waiting tables (you forgot to mention that part).
2.) The left attack Rush Limbaugh on weight (and now Chris Christie) so its only fair to point out that Michael Moore is a big fat *hit.
3.) Finally I have pointed out several salient point on Hillary which NO ONE could respond to. For instance, what are her accomplishments as Secretary of State? None. She has not stopped Iran and North Korea from their Nuclear activities. I fail to see the worship heaped by the left on this very medicore person. So again, please list her accomplishments as Secretary of State.
Greg, it;s clear from the comments that everyone more than understood your "Art History dig" so no need to clarify it.
Now let me make a few things clear for you:
1. The assumptions you made given my post make no sense. I gave you a definition, you give back a weird accusation of my having a degree in AH. The correct assumption, given my post, would have been that I have an English degree. Which I in fact do. However, it looks like you're more biased against art degrees than English degrees so you fed your bias and went for an irrationally based insult over a logical one.
2) By doing so you revealed yourself as both immature and arrogant. Debasing, or trying to debase, a person due to their job or degree, is hateful. I personally have respect for any hard-working person, be they a doctor or a ditch-digger. Also I can't imagine the kind of arrogance it takes to anoint oneself the judge of what a "worthless" degree might be. The time any person spent learning something is not for me, or you, to judge. Another obvious takeaway from your comment is that you don't like or appreciate movies, artwork, music, books since those are usually done by people with arts-based degrees.
3. Just because "the Right" or "the Left" engages in a behavior habitually does not matter, it doesn't rob one of one's free will and ability to choose whether or not to engage in said behavior. This is why I don't attack people based on looks. It's shallow and childish.
4. No, Greg, the reason no one is answering your "point" about what a nothing HRC is because your points are especially not salient. I see from your last post that you've moved away from asking people to name her accomplishments in general, which you do above, to naming her accomplishments as SoS. No one is bothering to answer any of this because a person who could seriously ask to name any accomplishment of a woman who has two Ivy League degrees, was made the first female partner in her law firm, co-founded the Ark Advocates for Families and Children, and became the first female chair of the Legal Services Corp, among so many other admirable accomplishments, is not to be taken seriously.
Also, the fact that you're trying to say that she's a poor SoS for not stopping Iran and N Korea from nuclear armament is ridiculous. These are serious issues and trying to lay what these two countries have been doing for many years at her feet is ridiculous and disingenuous. And that's why no one is responding Greg.
Now I have a question for you, that has been asked of you many times yet you, Greg, have not answered it. Why are you on here? I do not go to conservative sites and hurl insults and cannot imaging doing so. You do not bother with anything except insults and vitriol, so why bother at all? Is it really so thrilling to come here a hurl insults and snigger at people? If it is, I honestly feel very sorry for you.
Nope, all so well said. But it ain't gonna matter.
nope, my name-sister/brother, really, ease off. It is hard to believe, but it's true: the unfed troll will wither and die. Let him realize that the only person his sputtered nonsense damages is himself.
I know you're right, small-case nope. And I'm going to try hard to heed the wisdom of all those urging starvation tactics for the troll(s). Thanks for the good advice.